Xavier Bishop

Today I decided to alter my routine at the gym and run on the treadmill. After about 20 minutes of exercising it occurred to me, there’s a lot about being on the treadmill that reminds me of life after Hurricane Katrina. 

A treadmill is little more than a belt that turns repeatedly; a continuous loop that produces the same motion over and over again. It basically has no beginning and no end, and thus there is the feeling that although you’re moving, you’re not getting anywhere.

 From the time I left the shelter from the hurricane, I’ve felt as though my body and mind have been in constant motion, without a beginning and with no end in sight, just like the belt on a treadmill. Combine the sense of continuous motion with a feeling of not going anywhere, and suddenly you have — life on a treadmill!

It all kind of reminds me of the movie Groundhog Day where the main character, played by Bill Murray, gets trapped in a cycle of reliving Groundhog Day over and over again, day after day after day. In the beginning he’s baffled by the phenomenon, but after a while he becomes frustrated at not being able to break the cycle of the recurring reality.  Eventually he accepts his fate and then uses it as a basis for changing his life.

Part of what makes Groundhog Day such a powerful movie is that it shows us how transforming personal change can be. In the case of Murray’s character the change was made possible by the repetition of Groundhog Day.  The experience placed him in exile from normal life, which in turn enabled him to discover he’d been in exile from himself by his arrogance and self-absorption. Eventually he learned that the only way to change (the repetition of) his life was by changing himself.

While recounting the details of the movie I couldn’t help but notice how the feeling of despair felt by Murray’s character is the same feeling of despair I often have. Both of us seem caught up in an inexplicable situation of someone else’s design.  As I began to explore the deeper meaning behind the movie, I wondered if the remedy for my despair was the same remedy as that of the main character.

He started by treating each day as unique, as if it were a world onto itself. He then went about the task of making the most of the day. For example by changing a negative outcome into a positive one or by saving someone’s life. What he realized was that unless he approached events differently they would repeat themselves throughout the day as they had on the original day. On the other hand if he changed his behavior, people would respond to the change in a manner that was different from before and this would open up a whole new world of possibilities. In the end having a genuine care and concern for others made it possible for his true inner being to be revealed. This in turn broke the cycle of repetition. 

I’m still thinking through the comparison between the movie and life post Katrina, wondering if I might be reading too much into the meaning of a simple movie or if I’ve simply gotten so comfortable with my despair that being in exile has become a safe place to be.  I won’t analyze the comparison too long though. I don’t have to. I’m way past ready to get off this treadmill.